Single parent fathers inhabit a world that requires the male of the species to sneer at and overcome all obstacles. His support network is nowhere as formidable as the kind single mothers enjoy. Most single parent fathers are on their own on the job. This does not include day-to-day parenting alone – many single fathers have to tackle the challenges of their children’s school lives, too.
Picture a single dad helping his kid with homework, getting him ready for school each morning, meeting teachers and attending local PTA meetings and you are picturing a rather beleaguered man at the best of times.
Though not all single fathers complain about this, the fact remains that they also have to contend with a certain genre of women in whom they seem to catalyse some very unhelpful motherly instincts. Such women are overwhelmed with a need to be a mother both to the child and the father, and ‘adopt’ both for all the wrong reasons.
The parenting world is geared for mothers, not fathers. This means that single fathers have to operate in a world that believes that they are simply not equipped to care adequately for their children.
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parenting situation,
motherly instincts,
pta meetings <BR/>
motherly instincts, parenting situation, pta meetings, single fathers, successful single parenting
In May of 1995, I suddenly lost my first wife and mother of my two daughters, Jody to a very rare illness called a pheochromacytoma. All of this transpired within 24 hours. It felt like a horrible dream.
I visualized my girls and I doing things together and I saw them thriving. Those were my daily images, only positive outcomes. I found comfort in books like Kubler Ross’s “On Death and Dying,” Hope Edelman’s “Motherless Daughter’s” & Cosby’s “Fatherhood.”
I learned first hand what being grateful for life and those we love, truly means. I worked very hard at balancing what was normal for my girls and not ignoring the death of their Mother. Julia, Lauren and I hugged and cried every day. I made certain that they knew emotionally, that we had one another.
If I sensed they were going into a shell, I would try to interact and relate to them by asking them questions about friends, clothes, school etc. I made it a point to do everything as a family. We went grocery shopping together, out for ice cream and had them help make dinner on a regular basis. I wanted them to feel secure and know their Dad wasn’t going anywhere.
Over time, I had developed insomnia. The sudden absence of Jody in our bed, left me awake until late hours of the night, reading, watching TV and just thinking. My heart and soul felt so empty and I wondered if I would ever feel whole again.
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Tags:
pheochromacytoma,
hope edelman,
sudden absence,
tense silence <BR/>
hope edelman, kubler ross, pheochromacytoma, sudden absence, tense silence